Leadership in Real Life: 5 Lessons They Don’t Teach You in School

There are a lot of books, podcasts, and leadership seminars out there telling you how to be a great leader. What they don’t always prepare you for is the real-life stuff; the awkward convos, the quiet doubt, the “I have no idea what I’m doing but I’m doing it anyway” moments.

I’ve worn a lot of hats in my career, school social worker, entrepreneur, facilitator, and coach. And across all those spaces, the biggest lessons I’ve learned about leadership didn’t come from a training. They came from lived experience.

So if you’ve ever felt like leadership should come with a real-world manual, here are 5 things they don’t teach you in school…but absolutely should:

1. You won’t always feel like a leader—and that’s okay.

Imposter syndrome doesn’t check your title. There have been plenty of times I’ve led a workshop or launched a project while secretly wondering if I was qualified to be in the room.

Here’s the truth: Leadership is a practice, not a personality trait. It’s built in the moments you show up anyway, not the ones where you have it all figured out.

2. Emotional intelligence will take you further than strategy.

I’ve seen leaders derail teams with a perfect plan but no people skills. I’ve also seen women transform spaces by listening deeply, responding with empathy, and making people feel seen.

Whether I was working with high school students or adult professionals, the leaders people remember are the ones who connect; not the ones who control.

3. You will outgrow some rooms.

This one stings a bit. As a consultant and founder, I’ve learned that not every room is meant to keep you—and not every opportunity is aligned with your growth.

Part of real leadership is knowing when to advocate for a seat at the table… and when to build your own.

4. Rest is part of the work.

Let me say that again for the overachievers in the back: Rest is part of the work.
Burnout doesn’t make you noble. It makes you resentful. Some of my most powerful ideas came after a walk, a nap, or a season of slowing down.

Leadership isn’t about running yourself into the ground—it’s about leading in a way that’s sustainable for you. Find Balance over Burnout

5. The best leaders create space for others to lead.

Whether I’m mentoring high school girls through Girls INSPIRE or guiding a leadership team during a workshop, I remind myself: My job isn’t to be the loudest in the room.

It’s to create a space where others can step into their voice. That’s the real legacy—building more leaders, not followers.

Final Thoughts

Leadership in real life is messy, courageous, and evolving. It’s less about always being confident and more about staying committed. And if no one’s told you lately, you’re doing better than you think.

Keep learning out loud.