Leadership Notes: The Difference Between Leading and Managing
You can manage people’s time. But you have to lead their belief.
It took me a long time to understand that difference and even longer to live it. When I first stepped into leadership, it was for a bustling cafe in Downtown Philadelphia. There, I believed systems were everything. and that if the ROIs were right and the deadlines were clear, the buy-in from the team would follow.
But I quickly….and a little harshly learned: you can’t task-master your way into trust.
And without trust, you don’t have a team; you have people who question your every decision and let’s be honest, talk about you in the team group chat (lol). And honestly, do you blame them?
You can bark orders, or you can use your skills to lead toward results.
Managers focus on output. Leaders focus on ownership.
Managing is about making sure the “what” gets done. Leading is about helping people believe in the “why” and feel ownership in the “how.”
Think: You manage timelines, deliverables, and performance.
You lead mindset, motivation, and morale.
Leadership is about energy, not just execution.
I’ve seen teams hit every KPI (Key Performance Indicator) and still feel completely disconnected from their work. I’ve also seen teams miss the mark and still stay deeply committed to their work and the organization’s mission. The main difference, one team was led with transparency and care.
You can’t build longevity through metrics alone.
It can only be built through meaning. And meaning comes from how people feel in your presence, not just how productive they are under your direction.
Here’s what I’ve learned as a leadership coach:
If you lead with control, you’ll always have to micromanage.
If you lead with clarity, people rise.Your job isn’t to have all the answers.
It’s to create a culture where people feel safe asking better questions. yourself includedPeople don’t follow managers.
They follow momentum, and that starts with you. How you show up, how you communicate, and how you celebrate
True leadership doesn’t live in your title; it lives in your experiences. It shows up in your tone. In your presence and in the way people feel after working with you.
So, the next time you find yourself checking a list of tasks off (because there will be those seasons), pause and ask:
Did I just manage this moment, or did I lead my team?
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4 Questions That Always Come Up in my Coaching Calls (and My Honest Answers…)
While every client I meet with comes to me with their own unique needs and goals, I have to admit, I hear these 4 questions all the time:
“Where do I even start?”
“Is starting a business really for someone like me?”
“Why is no one buying from me yet?”
“Why do I feel like I’m failing?”
To be honest, I’ve asked those questions myself many times— as a founder, a leader, and as someone who’s rebuilt her path more than once. And the truth is: these aren’t just beginner questions, they’re the real-life questions that every leader and entrepreneur face when what’s next is blurry and the pressure is loud.
So let’s talk about them together and shift our thinking from you need all the answers to curiously exploring the questions.
1. “Where do I start?”
Starting anything, whether a business or stepping into leadership, it’s less about the perfect first move and more about your next move.
When I began my business, I thought I had to have everything aligned: a brand, website, launch plan, team the list goes on. What I didn’t realize was I just needed to start. start learning, start designing, start reaching out. I just needed to start.
Shift: You don’t start when everything’s perfect; you start when you’re ready to show up imperfectly and learn. Start with one clear step. Build momentum. Then another.
2. “Is starting a business for someone like me?”
First, let’s strip away the “shoulds.” Business isn’t just for risk‑taking start‑ups or ultra‑confident founders, or the mega wealthy. It’s for the challenged, the restless, and the ones who feel something’s missing.
When I launched, I didn’t have funding, I didn’t have clarity, but I had doubts. Knowing that, I still took a forward anyway.
Shift: Starting is less about being fearless and more about being willing. Willing to adapt. Willing to own the work. willing to learn. And honestly, that’s leadership too.
3. “Why is no one buying from me yet?”
Crickets don’t mean you’re invisible. They mean something’s untested. I’ve seen founders and leaders get stuck here because they skipped authentic connection. The honest reality is, people buy confidence first, and product or service second.
Shift: Pause the hustle. And asses before you spend money on a new subscription or gadget, ask: Who am I talking to? What problem am I solving for them? How will they know I’m the one? Adjust, and then get consistent.
4. “Why do I feel like I’m failing?”
Because you’re learning. Leadership and entrepreneurship share this silent battle: you will always feel like you are breaking in the process of rebuilding. For me, that question came up when I coached leaders and started new ventures. It showed up in quiet ways through overthinking unanswered emails, goals missed, and momentum stall-outs. It’s important to remember this is just a season, and this too shall pass.
Shift: Instead of asking, “Why am I failing?”, ask: “What feedback is here?” Then use that feedback to refine, redirect, and rise.
To this client, I said specifically: You are not failing, you are learning to fly. Give your wings the space to grow.
SOOO.. what next?
The reality is, these questions don’t vanish overnight, and trust me, I so wish they did, but preparing yourself for how to answer them when they do come up can make all the difference in how you shape your experiences. In the meantime, take these three steps:
Pick your one next move.
Chart it.
Hold yourself accountable.
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The Loneliest Job I Ever Had Was in Leadership
Early in my career, I’ll admit I fell for the glamour of Leadership. We talk about influence, impact, and inspiring others like it’s a magic trick or just another Wednesday. But what we rarely talk about is how lonely it can feel—especially when you’re in the middle. Not quite frontline, but not quite executive.
Just… in between. Carrying the expectations from the top while trying to protect and motivate the team in front.
Before stepping into leadership, I thought it meant having more control, more say, more autonomy. But I quickly learned that leadership often means making hard decisions with limited options. It means being the translator between vision and execution. And it means having to hold space for everyone, while trying to figure things out yourself.
One of the loneliest stretches of my career was when I sat in mid-management. I wasn’t making the rules, but I was responsible for enforcing them. And when policies or priorities from the top didn’t align with the reality on the ground, I was the one tasked with bridging that gap. That’s a weight few people prepare you for so here are my notes:
The 3 Leadership (P’s): Push, Pause, Pivot
Leadership isn’t just about strategy—it’s about nuance. It’s about knowing when to push, when to pause, and when to pivot. You’re constantly asking:
How do I motivate a team and prevent burning out?
How do I deliver feedback that’s honest, but not harmful, and delivers results?
How do I advocate for my people while still delivering what leadership wants?
Sometimes the “hard conversations” aren’t about major conflicts. Sometimes they sound like:
“Hey, I’ve noticed your input isn’t quite aligning with the team’s pace. Is everything okay?”
or
“I need to be honest—my expectations for your role aren’t being met right now, and I want to talk about what support you need moving forward.”
Conversations that require you to balance support with accountability can feel small on the outside—but internally, they carry big impact.
Leading Without Applause
You won’t always get credit. You won’t always be understood. And that’s okay. Great leaders are not liked, they are loved because they recognize that the success of the team and the individuals on it are greater than one single person’s accomplishment.
Leadership can be lonely, but it can also be one of the most meaningful roles you ever step into.
If leading right now feels lonely just remember—
You’re not alone, and you’re not doing it wrong.
And if you need a reminder, here are a few:
You don’t have to have all the answers.
You can be firm and empathetic.
And most of all, you deserve community and support, too.
Whether you're leading your first team or navigating the demands of a growing organization, connect with us online for leadership insights—or book a 1:1 session to get tailored support.
From Failure to Feedback: Shifting Your Mindset for Growth
When I first started my business in 2022, every setback felt personal. A missed opportunity, a “no” from a client, even a workshop that didn’t go the way I meticulously planned in my head — all of it felt like confirmation that maybe I wasn’t cut out for this lifestyle.
But somewhere between my third pivot and my hundredth self-doubt, a wise mentor gave me advice I’ll never forget:
“Failure doesn’t mean final. It means feedback.”
That single shift in perspective completely changed the way I show up — not only as an entrepreneur, but as a leader and coach. Instead of seeing failure as the end of the story, I began asking myself a new question:
| What is this moment here to teach me?
Here are a few mindset shifts that helped me reframe failure into feedback:
1. Failure isn’t proof of inadequacy — it’s proof you tried.
The only people who never fail are the ones who never step outside their comfort zone. Every setback is evidence that you were brave enough to take a shot.
2. Failure gives you data you can’t get any other way.
No podcast, leadership book, or seminar will teach you what your own trial and error can. Every “no” is information about what to tweak, what to double down on, and what to let go of.
3. Failure makes you more adaptable.
Setbacks force you to build resilience, creativity, and problem-solving muscles. Leaders who embrace failure as feedback are often the ones best equipped to navigate uncertainty.
4. Failure doesn’t define you — your response does.
What matters most is how you get up, reflect, and apply the lesson. That’s what separates leaders who stay stuck from those who grow forward.
The next time you hit a wall, try shifting the question from “Why did it fail?” to “What is this feedback showing me?” The answer might just be the lesson you needed to build your next bigger win.
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Soft Girls Don’t Build Empires: Redefining Balance in Leadership and Business
We’ve all been sold the glossy image of “work-life balance.” The hard stop at 5:01, the weekends free of emails, the perfect morning routine with green juice and yoga before a 10 am meeting. For a long time that notion is how I believed I would build my business… or so I thought.
But the hard truth I learned is: soft girls don’t build empires.
When I first stepped into entrepreneurship, I thought balance meant protecting my time at all costs. I told myself no late calls, no weekend work, no bending on boundaries. That philosophy cost me — in money, in opportunities, and in wasted energy. Because when you’re building something from nothing, all you really have to offer is your time.
And the same is true in leadership. Balance doesn’t always look like neat 40-hour weeks and tidy boundaries. Leading a team often means being available when people need you, not just when it’s convenient. It’s not about being on all the time but rather how to be adaptable.
Sometimes balance isn’t spread evenly across your week; sometimes it shows up in pockets. As a late-night brainstorming session balanced by a slow morning. A weekend client call balanced by a midweek afternoon off. True balance is less about the clock and more about anchoring yourself in routines and rituals that bring you back to center.
Here are a few mindset shifts that changed the way I see balance in both leadership and entrepreneurship:
1. Balance happens over seasons, not hours.
Some weeks will demand more of you than others. Give yourself permission to lean into the grind — and then lean back into rest when the season shifts.
2. Time is your currency. Spend it wisely.
In business, your time is often the most valuable thing you can give. In leadership, your presence is what people value most. It’s not about protecting every hour, but about investing your energy where it matters most.
3. Balance is found in what you’re working on, not when.
It’s better to be all-in on meaningful work at 9 PM than to drag through something soul-crushing at 2 PM. Alignment > schedule.
4. Routines are your reset button.
When everything feels chaotic, the rituals you return to — journaling, prayer, exercise, even a simple walk — bring you back to yourself and remind you why you’re doing the work.
Building a business or leading a team will never look like the perfect Instagram version of balance. But when you shift your definition, you stop chasing an ideal and start embracing the real.
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